


Impracticalities of a Volcano Lair, and one concession

by Linorien



Series: 007 Fest 2020 [3]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies), James Bond - All Media Types
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:41:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25022563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Linorien/pseuds/Linorien
Summary: A few reasons why volcanoes do not make good lairs, but one reason they just might be perfect.
Series: 007 Fest 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1810804
Comments: 14
Kudos: 11
Collections: 007 Fest Fancreations





	Impracticalities of a Volcano Lair, and one concession

**Author's Note:**

> Anon prompt: Bond on a Segway. Really, I have no other details for this prompt.  
> Classic table: volcano lair

There are no windows

The alarm sounded. A look on the information monitors in the corridors warned everyone to to stay away from levels 1 through 7 and to avoid the lifts. There was a lava flow passing through. 

There was a sign on the lift door saying it was currently out of service. His office was on the sixteenth floor. He turned around and walked back to the underground railway to take him back to the city. It would be physically impossible to work while it was broken and his superiors might finally acknowledge how valuable he is. 

Fiber optic internet was wonderful, it really was. You could do a lot with it. And all of their work phones had been modified to connect to short distance routers which functioned like local, unhackable wifi. But they weren’t permitted to use their work phones for personal things. And the thick rock walls of the hollowed-out volcano were not permeable to tower signals. And so when Eve left after a long day and turned on her personal phone, she was distraught to learn that her wife had gone into labour three days early and there were over sixty texts from her family telling her to get to the hospital, and where was she, and call as soon as she saw this. 

James worked as a courier on the lower three levels. (He’d been assigned as courier in punishment for mucking up the assassination of Blofeld and nearly leading to the discovery of their lair.) He thought it would be worse. Did the courier have to deal with bomb threats on a day to day basis? He also thought he would have to walk all of twisting corridors of the lower levels burdened with the various packages. Untrue. He got to ride a segway. A specially modified segway that carried the packages in a little cart behind him. James whooped and hollered his excitement when he took off on his first delivery and he shouted further when he discovered that the wheels lit up. His voice echoed through the entire lair as he screamed “This is going to be the best week ever!”


End file.
